I... I just have no words...

"...and then I'm gonna rub two bottles of BBQ sauce all over your body."

Uh... Yum?

Overheard from a skinny man guy on a payphone at the SLC airport by Twitter user @Maria_Face (via @zoepapilia)

Overheard at a hotel restaurant

"Your buns look and taste delicious. But they are yeasty. It would be nice to have some yeast-free bread for people watching their health."

I swear to the FSM that is a verbatim quote.